The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied, "Breakfast."
A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money.
On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five
fingers.
"Oh darling!" she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?"
"No", says the old fellow, "it means that you can pick one out."
A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together,
"Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonight."
The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all
replies, "An elephant".
The wife sez "That's close enough!"
