100 Kisses

Letter from husband( who is abroad) to wife



Dear Sweetheart:


I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.


You are my sweetheart


Your husband


Allen



============ =========


His wife replied back after some days to her husband:



Dearest sweetheart,


Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.


1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.


2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.


3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses


Instead of the rent.


4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items....... ....


5. Other expenses 40 kisses


Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.



Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!


Your Sweet Heart

Close your mouth While Riding Bike

Beautiful Egg Arts

Pink Dolphin

Difference between Man and Woman

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are only 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage
Do u still wanna get married ?

Huge Kiss

I'am Totally confused is it Apple or Butterfly?

Red Hot and Banana

Times for Positive Thinking

TAKE TIME TO WORK, IT IS THE PRICE OF SUCCESS

TAKE TIME TO THINK, IT IS THE SOURCE OF POWER

TAKE TIME TO PRAY, IT IS THE KEY TO REVELATION

TAKE TIME TO PLAY, IT IS THE SECRET OF YOUTH

TAKE TIME TO READ, IT IS THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS

TAKE TIME TO DREAM, IT IS THE WAY TO MOON,

TAKE TIME TO SERVE, IT IS PRIVILEGE OF GOD.

TAKE TIME TO LAUGH, IT IS THE MUSIC OF SOUL.

MAY YOU HAVE

* ENOUGH Happiness to Keep you Sweet

* ENOUGH Trails to Keep you Strong

* ENOUGH Sorrow to Keep you Human

* ENOUGH Hope to Keep you Happy

* ENOUGH Failure to Keep you Humble

* ENOUGH Success to Keep you Eager

* ENOUGH Friends to Give you Comfort

* ENOUGH Wealth to Meet your needs.

* ENOUGH Enthusiasm to Look Forward.

* ENOUGH Faith to Banish Depression

* ENOUGH Determination to Make each day better than yesterday.

A CHILD WILL MAKE

Love stronger

Day shorter

Nights longer

Pay packets emptier

Clothes shabbier

Past forgotten

Future worth living.

TEMPER

TEMPER

It is a quality that at critical moment brings out the best in steel and worst in man

Stupid questions and great answers

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

30 Definitions of Marriage

1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the “Y” becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

22. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN’T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

TEN FORUMLAS FOR A HAPPIER MARRIAGE

Thou shalt COMMUNICATE with each other.

Thou shalt COMPROMISE when things cannot be changed.

Thou shalt never take each other for GRANTED

Thou shalt KEEP ROMANCE ALIVE in your marriage

Thou shalt not let MONEY come between you

Thou shalt arrange to SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.

Thou shalt show each other RESPECT & CONSIDERATION

Thou shalt show thy APPRECIATION for each other

Thou shalt earn each others’ TRUST

Thou shalt try to be FRIENDS as well as LOVERS

IDEAL SURGEON

IDEAL SURGEON : He has the eyes of an eagle, the heart of a lion and the hands of a woman.

10 POINTS FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

* SPEAK TO PEOPLE : There is nothing as nice, as cheerful greeting

* SMILE : It takes 72 muscles to frown but only 14 to smile.

* THINK HAPPY : You are what your thoughts make you: Think Happy.

* STOP WORRYING : Stop worrying and start living.

* PRAISE : Be generous with praise, cautious with criticism.

* WORK : Let your work be your religion.

* HOPE : Come what may, never give up hope.

* PEOPLE : Be genuinely interested in people. And every thing other than “I”.

* CHALLENGE : Treat each new day as a challenge and live it up to the fullest.

* GIVE BEST : Give the world your best, and the best will come back to you.

A LOVE AFFAIR

• You say you Love me. However, sometimes you do not show it.

• In the beginning, you could not do enough for me. Now you take me for granted.

• May be, when I am gone, you’ll appreciate me and all the things I have done for you.

• I am responsible for the food on your table, for clothes you wear and the home you like.

• I have kept quiet and waited to see, how long, it would take you to realize, how much you really need me.

• Cherish me…. Take good care of me…. And I’ll take good care of you

WHO AM I?

ANSWER: I AM your Job.

A Love Letter

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.


I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

Romeo ( HR Executive )

DIVORCE

The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!