Showing posts with label Political Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Political Jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Bush & Kalam

While visiting India , George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam.
He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to
surround himself with intelligent people. Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer
this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is
not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !" "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Kalam.

He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Condoleeza Rice to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer
a question for me." "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" Bush poses the question:
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your
brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees,
and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over
the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation,
Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your
brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims,
"I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!".

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Lallo Parsad YADAV and Bill Gates

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:
dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks

Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Laloo becomes a model

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.
Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbow on the back of the cattle he poses for a photograph. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.

GUESS THE CAPTION !!

"Laloo, third from left!"

Monday, March 26, 2007

Laloo Vs Gates

Bill Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.

Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.

Gates : Have you installed Windows at home?

Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house. Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?

Laloo : OPERATION ? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.

Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased moquito problems many people are sleeping under the net. Gates: By the year 2002 India should export computer chips.

Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?

Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Sweating Heavily): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.

Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P.

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.

Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave. Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.

Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting.Please wait............."

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Abraham Lincoln (DEFEAT IS THE STEPPING STONE OF SUCCESS)

DEFEAT IS THE STEPPING STONE OF SUCCESS

By Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln son of woodcutter rose to become 16th President of America.

Failed in Business 1831

Defeated for Legislature 1832

Again failed in Business 1833

Elected to Legislature 1834

Sweet-heart died 1835

Had a nervous break down 1836

Defeated for Speaker 1838

Defeated for Elector 1840

Defeated for Land Officer 1843

Defeated for Congress 1843

Elected for Congress 1846

Defeated for Congress 1848

Defeated for Senate 1855

Defeated for Vice President 1858

Elected President 1860

Assassinated by John Booth 1865

Sunday, February 11, 2007

HUMOR ON GOVERNMENT MACHINERY

Government machinery is the marvelous device which enables ten men to do the work of one.

HUMOR ON COMMUNISM, SOCIALSIM, NAZISM, FACISM AND CAPITALISM

COMMUNISM: If you have tow cows, you give both cows to the government, and then the government sell you some of the milk.

SOCIALISM: If you have two cows, you give both cows to the government, and then the government gives you some of the milk.

NAZISM: If you have two cows, the government shoots you and takes both cows.

FACISM: If you have two cows, you milk both of them and give government half of the milk.

CAPITALISM: If you have two cows, you sell one cow & buy a bull.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

WHAT IS MINORITY RULE?

WHAT IS MINORITY RULE?

A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.